Day Twenty-nine

This is Lauren's idea of rain gear.

Super Adella to the rescue!

Cindy wanted to keep her bike shorts clean today so she wore her underwear on the outside.

Some idiot managed to get this photo of Robb committing a very dangerous act. Don't tell Michelle.

Hey Honey we've returned to civilization!

Clearly not in Kansas anymore.

Bringing Phil safely home for the stage win.

Super Adella is so happy to be met by her brother, Aaron, sister-in-law, Kambrala and special nieces Lucy (in the sky) and (Diamond) Lillie.

What so proudly we hailed.

Hey Happy Birthday to Americans everywhere and it’s obviously an important day to those of us on the tour. We want to be sure that one of our red, white, and blue riders wins today’s stage. Now with about 29 American riders and 1 Kiwi rider you’d think we’d be pretty confident but you need to understand how these All Blacks think. Kiwi Rick thinks that 29:1 odds are actually even for him!

The forecast for today was 1-2” of rain so we were pretty sure we’d get a little wet. Rick always is one of the first to leave and lately he’s been spinning with Shawn now that Shawn is sober. It was important to blow his doors off early so we gave chase and made sure we passed him so quickly that he couldn’t even think about hanging on. As the usual morning pacer I set a blistering rate so high that only Robb, Lester, and Phil could hang on and we blasted into the first SAG at 31 miles with no one in sight.

It was wet but no where near as bad as we had expected so we kept the rest to a minimum and were pulling out at Kiwi Rick was dismounting and Tony was yelling that he was coming after me (??). During the SAG we were reminded that it was Phil’s birthday so the second goal of the day was to be sure Phil was the American who won the stage assuming he could continue to hang onto my smoking wheel. With the entire world watching we couldn’t jeopardize the USA win but if we could bring Phil in at the same time it would be great.

I know they wanted me to back off thinking that victory was ours but instead I increased the output making sure that we stomped on the New Zealander’s hopes. By the time we crossed the mighty Missouri River we’d lost Lester again and Phil was furtively gulping his secret pharmaceuticals. Robb and I reminded him that this was probably the ride of his life and assured him that we would do everything in our power to earn him the stage. Wide-eyed Phil only turned 54 today so his youth actually works against him in these situations. We had to use our mental toughness to harness his physical potential.

To get to the second SAG at mile 69 we got our first taste of Missouri rollers (every downhill immediately presents you with another uphill) but we guided Phil with a singular purpose. Lester had rejoined us by this point after being diverted by some of his animal buddies (he likes to “talk” to the animals on the side of the road?). The SAG was a bit disconcerting as it was not Alex-approved when we arrived. Amazing Alex overruled his mother and reset the SAG while we were there so all was at peace as we blasted away for the last 18 miles to St. Joe’s.

What we didn’t understand is that we were soon to face our biggest test of the day. The less experienced guys were feeling confident but I was nervous knowing that a sudden mechanical problem or a wrong turn could instantly negate all the hard work we had invested. It was soon obvious that there are no leash laws in the state of Missouri. Most of the dog attacks were rather benign but we finally met our match on a screaming downhill when we were attacked by a full-blooded coon hound at overdrive throttle. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue since we were on a downhill but this was obviously a hound with royal lineage and Robb was slightly out of position so he couldn’t sacrifice his own body to save Phil. I was forced to use my “YOU SUCK DOG” scream to save Phil and ultimately the day. That dog will never hunt again.

All in all a great effort and the Stars and Stripes rightfully carried the day. Although superhuman efforts were expended, we have another lay day tomorrow so we’ll be ready for whatever excitement Missouri holds starting on Tuesday when we head to Chillicothe ("big town" in Shawnee).

My virtual rider today is my friend, Bert Kupcinskas. Bert has ridden the Pan Mass Charity Ride for many many years raising thousands of dollars every year. I’m sure he remembers the couple of years we rode together on July fourth. Today we rode into St. Joe’s through a park very similar to Green Hill Park in Worcester where Bert and I rode.

If we find something interesting in St. Joseph on Monday we’ll make a post otherwise we’ll see you on Tuesday.

Thanks for reading!

Today’s ratings: (the higher the better or easier)

Scenery: 5

Road conditions; 7

Grunt factor: 7